Hold My Hand
by afanoftvd
Summary: Inspired by 4x15 and 4x16. Set sometime in the not too distant future. Elena turns her switch back on. Damon, with a little input from Caroline, helps her deal with the grief that still threatens to destroy her. Features an awesome Caroline, and Damon's patented blend of love and irreverence. One shot.


Summary: Inspired by 4x15 and 4x16. Set sometime in the not too distant future. Elena turns her switch back on. Damon, with a little input from Caroline, helps her deal with the grief that still threatens to destroy her. Features an awesome Caroline, and Damon's patented blend of love and irreverence.

AN: Many thanks to JWAB for an encouraging, entertaining and unfailingly brilliant beta. Go read all and I mean ALL her stuff. It's unique, creative and beautifully written. I promise you'll want to toss more than a few dollars at it. Better yet, drop her some reviews.

**Hold My Hand**

Damon slammed into a wall in an alley behind a nondescript Richmond restaurant, and dropped like a sack to the ground. He watched helplessly as Elena buried her face in her latest victim's neck. "Go ahead, kill her." Damon called, his face twisted in anger, but his tired eyes overflowed with grief.

Elena tore her face from her victim and the waitress folded like a rag doll at her feet. Elena stared at him, her expression vacant. Her empty eyes slowly filled, first with rage, anger, frustration, then grief, sorrow, compassion. The final look of love she gave him knocked him back against the wall.

Elena turned her back on Damon to crouch beside her victim. She gently pulled the young woman into her arms and bit into her own wrist. She pressed the wound to the girl's mouth, until her feeble attempts to breathe caused her to choke down some of the healing blood. She waited until the girl's drinking became more purposeful. "You're okay," she soothed when the girl startled back to full consciousness. She wiped the remnants of the blood with the girl's apron, then tossed it aside. Elena stood her on her feet. "You had a good walk. Break's about over." She straightened the girl's shirt and aimed her back toward the restaurant. She watched carefully until the waitress stepped back through the kitchen door with a "weird, lost my apron" and a relaxed shrug.

"I am so tired," Elena sighed. She sank against the wall, her legs suddenly unable to hold her up. Damon swept her into his arms and pulled her protectively to his chest. Resting her head on his shoulder, he carried her away from the darkness of the alley.

XXXX

Damon lifted Elena out of the Camaro and carried her up the stairs to his room. He laid her sleeping body on his bed. "I could draw you a bath," he offered in an unobtrusive whisper.

"Just let me sleep," Elena murmured back, her first words since the alley.

Damon silently removed her shoes and clothes, then pulled back the blankets, settling her into the center of the bed. Damon slipped in beside her and wrapped a protective arm around her. "I've got you," he whispered into her ear, "Just sleep."

XXXX

The overpowering smell of blood pulled Elena out of her dark, dreamless sleep. She forced her eyelids open to see Damon literally waving a mug of warm blood under her nose. "How long has it been?" Elena rasped with an unpracticed voice.

"Two days," Damon said with gentle concern.

"Wish it was a century." Elena forced her unresponsive muscles to roll away from Damon. She squinted as a beam of sunlight hit her face.

"You're getting a little crusty. You need to eat," he coaxed.

"I hurt all those people," she said, in a horrified whisper, squeezing her eyes shut against the reality.

"Breakfast, lunch, dinner, a few midnight snacks," Damon shrugged, "Numbers will get up there."

"How can you be so casual about it?" Elena argued.

"They're not dead, Elena," Damon said pointedly.

"Because you healed them," Elena sighed.

"You didn't stop me," Damon said impatiently. "You've got nothing to feel guilty about. Look at the sun," he ordered.

Elena opened her eyes. "You're invoking the sire bond now?"

"Sire bond is pfft," Damon said casually, flicking an invisible piece of lint off his shoulder. "Just making you a promise."

Elena focused sad eyes on Damon. "Sometimes I think you're more sired to me than I ever was to you. You become anything I need, bodyguard, clean-up crew, nurse maid, therapist and I don't even have to open my mouth," she said, her voice kind.

"You forgot sex toy," Damon leered, but Elena's expression didn't change.

"You'll begin to desiccate," Damon pleaded. He sat beside her, taking her hand in his "You don't need that kind of pain."

"Why shouldn't my body feel every bit of the pain I feel?" Elena argued, her voice a harsh whisper.

Damon fingered her ring. "There will come a day when your first thought in the morning light won't be to rip off your ring."

"How long did it take for you?" Elena asked.

Damon grinned. "145 years." His expression softened as he removed a stray strand of hair from Elena's face. "Will you drink a little?"

"Maybe tomorrow," Elena whispered, drifting off again.

"Maybe tomorrow," Damon whispered back. He walked about the room drawing the drapes closed, then climbed into bed beside her. He spooned his body against hers and pulled the blanket tight, building a protective cocoon around them. He willed his warmth into her too cool limbs and closed his eyes, listening to her laboured breathing.

XXXX

Elena had barely opened her eyes when the bedroom door opened and a blond head appeared at her bedside.

Elena frowned at Caroline. "You were waiting for the exact moment I woke up?" she complained.

"You bet," Caroline chirped. "I've been listening for your breathing to change."

"What are you doing here anyway?"

"Making sure you're okay."

"I'm fi -"

"Don't even say it," Caroline cut her off. "We both know you're a solar system away from crappy and light years away from fine." She met Elena's gaze with compassion.

"You couldn't have given me a minute?" Elena groaned.

"And risk the wrath of Damon?" Caroline said incredulously. "If he thought I left you alone for even a second."

Elena struggled to sit up, muscles groaning with the deep ache of a thousand marathons run. Caroline helped her out of the bed and into the wing chair, then tucked an afghan around her.

"A few sips of blood will go a long way toward greasing those joints," Caroline said offhandedly.

"Where's Damon?" Elena asked, ignoring Caroline's prompt.

"Downstairs. You won't believe what I had to go through to negotiate a couple minutes alone with you," Caroline griped. "He's the most infuriatingly stubborn, over-protectively loyal idiot I've ever met. He hasn't left your side. Not even for a second."

"I know," Elena said, her conviction coming from a place far more certain than memory.

Caroline smiled. "I've got something for you." She blurred to the door, opened it, grabbed something from the hall and flashed back to Elena's side. She placed a large gift box on Elena's lap. The small stuffed creature on the lid drew a protective smile from Elena.

"The bear is from Stefan and me. Well, I picked it out. It's a Beanie Boo. The latest rage. Can't help but love them. Don't think of it as a replacement for your old bear. Think of it more as a successor, part of your new life." Caroline spoke a little too fast.

Elena reached out a hand and caressed it. "What's in the box?" she asked.

"I put together a few photos. You may not be ready now, or even years from now. Just say the word and I'll put it away. I made it out of acid free archival paper. With a little care it should be good for at least a couple of centuries. I also made a digital copy. That will last who knows how long."

"You didn't have to do that," Elena protested.

"Plenty of time on my hands. You've been sleeping like the dead." Caroline clapped a hand over her mouth. "I'm sorry!" she said, her expression stricken. "I'm sorry," she repeated, her voice full of compassion, "For everything." She drew Elena into her arms and hugged her close. Elena couldn't quite bring herself to return the hug, but she found herself softening a little as she was enveloped by Caroline's warmth.

XXXX

Caroline shot upright at the sound of Damon's footsteps at the door. "My cue to go," she said apologetically.

Damon was instantly beside them, his face too close to Caroline's. "Blondie," he purred, his expression equal parts menace and amusement. Caroline stepped around him with a cautious glare and flashed out of the room.

Damon pulled Elena's chair next to the bed and dropped himself onto the mattress. "You okay?" he asked.

"Didn't rip my ring off," Elena said flatly.

"So instead you're going to shrivel up and die." Damon accused. He studied Elena's sunken features. "You haven't eaten."

"Hunger feels good. Reminds me of everything that's missing."

"It's just another switch Elena, "Damon sighed, "Starve your spirit or starve your body. Neither accomplishes anything, they just make the pain worse. But you already know that."

"What exactly do you think I know?" Elena argued.

"There's only one way to get through this," Damon said gently.

Elena bowed her head, avoiding Damon's gaze. "By going through it," she murmured. She sat still for a long time before finally looking up at Damon. "I don't know if I'm strong enough to do it."

"Oh, you're plenty strong enough," Damon said with conviction. "There's just a little thing you need to do first."

"What?" Elena asked.

"Eat."

"And so we've come full circle." Elena let out an ironic huff.

"You gonna let Caroline's specially warmed up B-positive, perfectly set out in my heirloom china go to waste?" Damon coaxed.

"You go ahead." Elena titled her head towards the silver tray holding an antique coffee pot and two mugs.

"Don't worry about me. Soccer Mom for breakfast and Tri-delt for dinner. I get my two squares a day." Damon smirked with a cheerfulness he couldn't quite pull off.

"Liar," Elena said, tracing the beginnings of shadows under his eyes with one hand. "You haven't left this room in days."

"I'll do it if you'll do it," Damon teased, his expression making it seem like an illicit act.

Elena rolled her eyes. She shakily handed Damon a mug. She hesitated a moment, then picked up her own mug. She steadied it with both hands and held it up in a mock toast before bringing it to her lips.

Damon drank, his eyes fixed on Elena. The tension in his features lifted as she closed her eyes and drank hungrily. He took Elena's mug, refilled it and handed it back. Elena drained it rapidly, her movements much more fluid. She set it down with a purposeful thunk, then looked at Damon disapprovingly. "You freaked Caroline out. She was in here before I even opened my eyes, making sure I didn't go up in flames."

"Good," Damon said with satisfaction.

"Is the suicide watch really necessary?" Elena asked with annoyance.

"Has anything changed?" Damon challenged her.

"Not really," Elena admitted.

"Then I couldn't care less if you're annoyed." Damon snapped. "You're not dying on my watch."

"Annoyed. Smothered." Elena rolled her eyes. "With the 'I'm sorrys' and the 'I love yous' and the gifts and the hugs."

"Just tell them to back the hell off. You can do that." Damon said simply.

"The hugs were okay," Elena said wistfully. "They were kind of warm."

"What've you got there?" Damon asked, nodding toward an elaborately decorated book on Elena's lap.

"Caroline put together an album for me." She eyed the book with real fear.

"Only Caroline can make torture instruments worthy of the Spanish Inquisition out of sparkle and glue," Damon mused.

"I didn't just burn the house on a whim. What part of My Past is Dead doesn't she understand?" Elena waved the book angrily.

"Fireplace is right there." Damon swept out an arm. "Matches on the mantle."

Elena tossed the book on the floor. "Won't do any good," she sighed. "Caroline's got backups. So, what did you save?"

"I don't do mementos," Damon brushed her off. Elena squinted suspiciously at his innocent expression.

"What are you hiding?"

"Me? Nothing."

"Hand it over Damon," she pressed.

Damon shrugged. "Dresser, top drawer, back right." He leaned casually back against the headboard, hands clasped behind his head, legs stretched out.

Elena pushed herself out of the chair and reached into the back of the dresser. She felt it before she saw it, the silky fabric distinct from the ultra soft cotton of Damon's shirts. She pulled out a pair of red panties, her eyes flashing with anger.

"Our lives were going up in flames and you went on a panty raid?" Elena raged. She flung the offending article at Damon.

Damon plucked it out of the air a breath of a second before it hit him square in the face. "I have my priorities," Damon grinned, swinging the panties lazily from his index finger.

Elena's face flushed involuntarily. Her eyes locked on Damon's and the barest smile appeared at the corner of her mouth. Damon lifted a suggestive eyebrow and the smile expanded into a broad grin. A giggle fluttered in her gut, then erupted into a genuine laugh. Her eyes filled with tears as the laugh grew and crested, consuming the room.

The next moment, she attacked Damon's lips at vamp speed, cracking his head against the headboard. She hovered over him predatorily, forcing his mouth open. Damon parted his lips to receive her, tasting the sweetness of the giggles on her tongue. The kiss eventually deepened and softened, infused with rediscovered love.

"I miss him so much," Elena whispered, her eyes brimming. Her long banished sobs finally returned, wracking her body. Damon pulled her into his embrace and absorbed her grief as his shirt absorbed her tears. Perhaps hours later, or maybe just minutes, Elena wiped her tears and looked up at Damon with a face that no longer bore an unbearable weight of grief.

Elena's eyes strayed toward the album on the floor. "Tempted to take a look?" Damon asked. Elena gave him a tentative nod. She shifted off his lap and tucked herself in beside him. Damon wrapped a protective arm around her shoulders and placed the album on their laps.

Elena took a deep breath and slowly lifted the cover to reveal an elaborate table of contents written in gold script. Elena traced the names on the list and stopped at Jeremy's, gently stroking her finger over the raised lettering. She steeled herself and flipped to the indicated page. Her breath escaped involuntarily as her hand caressed the half dozen childhood photos, each painstakingly mounted and sporting its own caption. She smiled through unbidden tears as she flipped through the pages, each photo filling her with memories of family and loss and love.

"Welcome home," Damon whispered, his eyes brimming with love. He held her tighter, supporting her, while together they broke the back of grief.


End file.
